Zumba Class – Linda’s Perspective

The Scene:  Zumba Class, Sarasota, Florida
The PlayersMotivational speakers, Linda Larsen, Polly Pitchford and Kelly Swanson
The Premise:
  Polly invites Kelly (visiting from NC) and Linda to take the class with her.
The Reality: Three relatively normal women (sort of) in the same Zumba class, at the same time, with radically different experiences!

6:02 – Kelly and I run into class – LATE – grab “back-of-the-room” spaces behind Polly (who was, of course, on time.)
6:03 – Wow! I LOVE this music! Yay! Get down with my bad self! This is going to be SO cool! ROCK ON!!!
6:04 – Oh, all the other girls in class have on pretty scarves with jingly coins around their hips. They look sexy. I look like somebody’s grandma.
6:05 – Grapevine right, salsa front, salsa back, hop left hop hop right.  No wait, that’s not right.  I’m facing in the wrong direction.
6:06 – Oh man, look at her butt.  Now that’s a great butt.  I coulda had a butt like that. If I’d wanted one…
6:07 – Wow.  Kelly’s good. She’s keeping up. She musta had dance training. I deeply resent her for that.
6:08 – Glance at clock.  FIVE minutes!?! It’s only been FIVE minutes? Uh oh.  I’m in trouble. Big trouble.
6:09 – Why is that girl in the black outfit SMILING so much.  I hate her.
6:10 – Leap? You want me to leap?  You want me to physically LIFT my floppy self up into the air???  Oh wait! I have to stop for water.
6:11 – Ooooh. Good water, really good.
6:12 – Water is so good for you.
6:13 – I love water
6:14 – What are you looking at? I just needed some water.
6:15 – Back to leaping, hopping, pumping, grinding, left, right, forward, back, up down….gasp, wheeze, choke, cough…
6:16 – Catch glimpse of my face in the mirror.
6:17 – Wow. What a pretty shade of red.
6:18 – Bollywood? Bollywood? Are you flippin’ kidding me?
6:19 – Look, you want me to do things with my feet, fine.  Do things with my arms, fine.  Do things with feet and arms at the same time?  I want my mommy.
6:20 – Will anyone notice if I leave?
6:21 –  Can the 911 rescue team get up the stairs? Those were narrow stairs.
6:22 – Help.
6:23 – Please help.

6:58 –  Dear God, if you will let me make it for just 3 more minutes, I promise I’ll donate all my organs.  Not that they will be worth anything.
6:59 –  My legs are now refusing to do what I’m telling them to do. They’ve gone on strike.  I don’t blame them.
7:00 – Stop that music! Stop it! Stop it now!
7:01 – Music stops. Class is over.  I want to weep.
7:02 – Polly turns around and I notice that she looks downright serene – like she’s been meditating for an hour.  I look like I’ve been running from an escaped lion for two days.  I don’t like her very much.  She is SUCH a show-off.
7:03 – I see that the teacher is selling the pretty scarves with the jingly coins and I say, “Oooh!  I want one, how much are they?”
7:04 – Take my new pretty hot pink scarf with the jingly coins and leave.  Tell the teacher how much I LOVED the class and that I’ll see her at her next class on Monday.

Epilogue: I don’t really know if I will go to the class on Monday. But I do know this:  I have the most AWESOME girlfriends who keep me in stitches, love me in spite of my jiggly parts, and are willing to have crazy adventures with me.  AND – I have a wicked cool new toy that I plan to use in all SORTS of creative ways!

By the way – this is just MY perspective. Aren’t you curious how those other two ladies saw it? I know I am! Click here to check out motivational speaker Kelly Swanson sees it!  Once there, you can also check out how motivational speaker Polly Pitchford sees it!



Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. I can not BREATHE I am laughing so hard. My face hurts. My head hurts. My stomach hurts. And I almost spit green smoothie out of my mouth. I think I burned more calories reading this post, than I actually did taking the class. Now I love my Linda more than I ever thought possible. Thank you for giving me the BIGGEST LAUGH of the year!!!!!! Love you to pieces!!! 

  2. The ONLY thing better than reading this, would be to hear Linda TELLING this. So Linda – this is stage worthy!!!!! You need to take this story to your audiences. It is sure to bring down the house. Can I come?

  3. I’m typing this through tearing, watering eyes from laughing so hard!!!  Oh, Linda, I’m so sorry you struggled so!  Whenever I’d turn around to check on you I saw a smiling face!  You are such a good actress!! I promise next time the jingly belt will turn everything around.  See you Monday!

  4. Wish I was there! Wish I was there!  Wish I was there!!!

  5. LOVED the humor and the timeline…what a memory you now share with such incredible motivational speakers! And how fun you walked away (sore perhaps) with such a pretty party favor. Jingle all the way!

  6. Loving you all over again my friend. What a delicious memory.


  1. […] this is just my perspective.  Come along with me and let’s find out what motivational speaker Linda Larsen has to say and it will lead you to the after-shock of motivational speaker Kelly […]

  2. […] it will lead you to motivational speaker Linda Larsen’s perspective – or you can come back here and click! Tweet !function(d,s,id){var […]

  3. […] class for the first time?  You get three radically diverse reactions.  What was mine?  Well, click here to read.  Oh, how I wanted to be Lucy Ricardo when I grew […]

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