You Won’t Know Until You ASK!

I don't know about you, but I come from a long line of women who hate to ask for help. We'd rather stand proudly in the pool of martyrdom, even if we are drowning – but at least we did it on our own, with good hair, fine china, and a purse that matched our shoes. Asking translated to weakness. Asking meant you weren't polite. Asking was rude. What we didn't realize, was that sometimes (and maybe most times) in order to get what we want, we have to ASK for it. Yet many of us, me included, are disappointed at all the things we didn't get that we never asked for.

Today was a good example for me. I want likes on my Facebook page – not to feel needed, but because it gives me more exposure to clients looking for motivational speakers. And yet every time I open my Facebook page and see that place where it gives me the option to ask my friends to like me – I ignore it. It just feels too needy. What if they say no? What if that makes me promiscuous?

But today I said, "What the heck. I'm always happy to like their pages. And they can always say no. I'll never know unless I ask."  So I asked.  And not even an hour later I got 80 likes – make that 81, I just got another while typing this. And I would bet by end of day that number will be higher.

Lesson to me: ASK.

Lesson to you: ASK.

They can always say no. But your chances are always better than if you said nothing at all.

So now that I've climbed out of the pool of martyrdom and into the pool of asking for what I want – does anybody have any diamonds they want to give me?

(P.S.  In case you now want to go find me on Facebook, go to  I'll be the one with all the likes.)


Motivational Speaker Kelly Swanson - called one of North Carolina's funniest women by Our State Magazine. Kelly lifts the spirits of audiences from coast-to-coast using humor, storytelling, and lives of the characters from Prides Hollow - Kelly's make believe small town. This unique approach to motivational speaking allows Kelly to break through communications barriers and connect directly to the audience's imagination.
Her powerful stories and wacky wit will make you laugh, remind you that you matter, show you how to see beyond your obstacles, and teach you how to stand up and stick out in a crowded market.
To book motivational speaker Kelly Swanson:
Motivational speaker Kelly Swanson's website

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  1. GREAT advice from a GREAT motivational speaker!!! And I remembering hearing once that if you don't ask, the answer is always no.  Oh – and can I LIKE your page more than once? I don't think so. But I've LIKED it a thousand times in my heart~!!

  2. I'm smiling from ear to ear Kelly because even though I teach the Art of the Ask, I've yet to ask others to "like" my FB fan page too. So, even though this keynote speaker can ask for business, support, and even money, asking people to "like" me feels weird. BUT, you've inspired me and tomorrow morning I'm going for it. Why not take action today? I've already posted two things and want people to notice! YOU rock! And I already "like" you. In fact, I love you, but there's no button.

    • I felt the same way Colette about asking Facebook people to like me. But when I thought about others asking me to like their page – it didn't sound needy at all. And I was happy to help them. Just as your audience and your friends are happy to help you too.  And in the process, my likes shot up, and some people actually wrote in to tell me how much they missed me. So asking was gold.  I'm going to like your page right now. If I haven't already.

      And I do wish there was a love button too – because I was hit it for all of you wonderful ladies on this blog.

  3. Nail on head! Nail on head!  Is it because both our mom's are (were) from the South or is it true just of the generation?  Weakness, impoliteness, rudeness…it's hard to get past those old stigmas.  Clicking the "love" button on your post, Kelly!

  4. Thank you for this call to action, Kelly!    I am from the non-south (Michigan:) but I STILL have so so so much trouble with "the ask."  Yet, and here is the rub, I LOVE when people ask me and I can help them.  I think this is a simple get out of my own way and let others give me the gift of their help… and likes!

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