You Could Have Had the Courtesy to…

 Fill in the blank:indignant-baby

  1. "Call me and tell me you'd be late."
  2. "Let me finish my sentence."
  3. "Feed the dog before you left.

How do you really think the person you say any of those things to is going to respond? Do you honestly think they will say, "Well, I could have, yes. But since I am a discourteous, thoughtless slob, it's highly improbably that I ever would."

No. They'll just get defensive and the point you are trying to make will be lost.  

Instead, without any emotional charge, try something like:

  1. "When you don't call me to let me know you'll be late, I get concerned."
  2. "Are you aware you just interrupted me before I had finished?"
  3. "I noticed that you didn't feed the dog before you left today. Did you forget or think I was going to be home in time?"

These statements may not, all by themselves, SOLVE the problem. But they are a GREAT place to start! 

From Linda Larsen, conference keynote speaker, committed to better communication!



Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. Wonderful post, Linda! And can already see how this works. Another tip I've picked up as a motivational speaker: Talk in terms of how their actions made you feel. So instead of starting a sentence with "You always….."  say "It makes me feel…… when you…."    Can't wait to share this!

  2. How can you forget to feed the dog?  Just kidding!  I like how you are setting yourself up to be more open with communication so that it's not likely to happen again.  And, if it does, you can say "this is an example of what I meant before when I asked if you were aware…".  Of course, timing and tone, timing and tone means a lot!

  3. Linda, always appreciate how you encourage us to choose our words wisely for better results and relationships.

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