Wrap Me Sexy

Okay ladies – here it is. My Saran Wrap story. I think you'll see pieces in here you recognize! And when you're through reading, feel free to share some of your sexy-gone-bad stories! :)




Motivational Speaker Kelly Swanson - called one of North Carolina's funniest women by Our State Magazine. Kelly lifts the spirits of audiences from coast-to-coast using humor, storytelling, and lives of the characters from Prides Hollow - Kelly's make believe small town. This unique approach to motivational speaking allows Kelly to break through communications barriers and connect directly to the audience's imagination.
Her powerful stories and wacky wit will make you laugh, remind you that you matter, show you how to see beyond your obstacles, and teach you how to stand up and stick out in a crowded market.
To book motivational speaker Kelly Swanson:
Motivational speaker Kelly Swanson's website

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  1. The Human Dutch Oven line made me spit my coffee!!!!!! You are a hoot and filled with wisdom. I'm drawing a blank on the sexy gone bad story – I block all painful memories. BUT I do remember once putting lip liner on while my major crush went into the liquor store for supplies. When I came out he burst out laughing and said, "Colette, you will stop at nothing to make me smile!" It wasn't until I went to the bathroom following that I realized I had outlined my lips with my jet black eyeliner pencil rather than my soft pink lip pencil. I was just a pioneer Goth and didn't know it. Anyway, thank YOU for making me laugh and taking me on an adventure with a powerful takeaway from an incredible motivational speaker.

  2. Thanks Colette! Bill did not appreciate the dutch oven line. It was, however, one of my favorites! Thanks for reading! You pioneer Goth you!


  3. Oh Kelly, you are hysterically funny. I LOVED the Dutch oven line!! What in the heck do boys know anyway???  And well, I did have a "sexy gone bad" experience once too.  Too long to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that I stepped WAY out of my comfort zone with my then boyfriend. After a fabulous romantic dinner, we retired to our bedroom where I lit a few candles and putting on REALLY sexy music. I proceeded to do a ridiculously suggestive dance in the nude with a…um…boa. A red feather boa. That was it. I slinked and gryrated and undulated and flicked him teasingly with the boa while he just lay there in the dark, propped up on his pillow in bed – just smiling – this very very appreciative smile. I did a stunningly brilliant, potentially award winning dance for what seemed like FOREVER, getting more and more aggressive with my "flicks" to try and get him to make some move toward me, when I suddenly realized… he was sound asleep.  And that little growling sound I thought he was making in response to my wonderfulness – apparently that was him snoring. 

    Okay, TMI. 


  4. Bravo!  Hahaha!  Not only did you write a brilliantly funny saran wrap story but you included teaching points along the way.  I felt like I was in your audience for one of your amazing keynote speaker presentations!  Mojo does NOT equal Saran wrap.  Got it!

  5. Kelly Kelly Kelly!  So glad you shared this!  Maybe over drinks you can share what happened!  

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