I'm a professional keynote speaker. You would think that requires a certain level of intelligence. But just at that point where I'm considering myself to be quite bright, the time change happens again – and sends me into a corner staring at the walls and counting my fingers.
I do this every year – enter into the time change mind teaser. Okay, is it Spring forward and Fall back, or Fall back and Spring forward? Both make sense and yet neither makes sense. Okay, so it's one hour – I get that – forward, forward, forward, forward. I have to repeat it as I change it, or I will forget and go the other way. And I can't do it when the clock is on 11:59 because that whole "59" part throws me off – as well as the fact that I never quite figured out when 12:00 is am and when it is pm.
And then I enter into the "is it going to be darker or lighter now" discussion. Will it be darker when I go to bed? When it's eight, is it really seven? Or is it really nine? And when I wake up will it be lighter or darker? And does this mean I'm losing an hour, or gaining an hour? And if I just go to bed an hour later, or is it earlier, can I just make up for it? And I lay there in bed wondering if it's really seven or really eight – and should I be extra rested or sleep deprived? And was this the clock I forgot to change? Or did I somehow change it twice?
And what if I'm traveling to a state that's an hour behind me? Or heaven help me, two hours behind? And then I get home and have to figure out how to move it ahead three hours and back two – or is it one? And what if I'm in the air on a plane when the time changes and it's like 11:59 pm or am – whatever – and the time changes, is it really today, or yesterday? Or am I dangling on the precipice of some sort of time vortex? And if you buy an airline ticket months before the time change, for a trip you are taking after the time change – which time do they put on the ticket – the before time or the after time?
Maybe this time change is just somebody's idea of making sure I don't ever think I'm smarter than I really am. It's working.