The Perfect Curse

Funny-Motivational-Speaker-Colette-CarlsonOne sure-fire way to kill your confidence? Perfectionism. This need to be perfect keeps us from moving forward – it creates inaction – and it especially plagues women.Study after study has confirmed that compared to men, women’s confidence levels lag. As a motivational speaker niched in women’s leadership conferences, I continue to meet women who share their self-doubt following a presentation. Heck, I still question my own abilities some days!

We could analyze all the reasons why women lack confidence – socialization, hormones (high testosterone correlates to a penchant for risk-taking), brain structure (women have a larger anterior cingulate cortex, a part of the brain deemed the worrywart center). But regardless of the root cause, the good news is you can start to shed this curse and boost your confidence. How? Stop ruminating and take action. That’s right – rather than remain stagnant as you wait for everything to line up just so (and really, we both know it never will), do one small thing outside your comfort zone.  And then another. And another.

Ohio State psychology professor Richard Petty, who has spent years studying confidence, defines it as “the stuff that turns thoughts into actions.” Clearly confidence and action are interrelated. So count to three and go!

And if it doesn’t work out quite as you’d intended, there’s immense value in the attempt. Psychologists believe that risk-taking, failure and perseverance are key to creating confidence. So start building yours today! My commitment:  I’m going to use new humorous material at my next program. Share with me what action you will take.


Step into the Truth Booth, improve your life, and laugh along the way with funny motivational speaker Colette Carlson. How did she go from emotional coward and the Pizza Delivery’s favorite customer to #1 sales producer for sales legend Tom Hopkins and Brian Tracy, featured in Success Magazine, a 50 lb. weight loss, and inspiring audiences at Microsoft, Accenture, Pepsi, Boeing, and organizations worldwide? Visit her at or call 760-230-1212.

Colette founded Speak Your Truth, Inc. to share her success systems and inspire others to Think It! Speak It! Live It! Her tools and takeaways create authentic, long-lasting change in every aspect of your life. With a MA in human behavior, a successful business and 2 teenage daughters, Colette provides a unique combination of education, research, real-life experience, and heartfelt humor to motivate you with her high content programs. Improve your Communication Skills, Work-Life Balance, Sales, Leadership, Assertiveness, Negotiation…all wrapped in the genuine power of Speaking Your Truth.

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  1. Oh what a timely, powerful reminder, Colette. And you're so right – NO ONE is exempt from this problem. I'm another motivational speaker who talks this talk and is STILL plagued with the "Yes, but will it be good enough?" syndrome.  MINE:  I will get started on the unpdated new version of my audio series that is supposed to be BETTER than the one I originally produced. You know, the one that sold over 130,000 copies.  The one that even I thought was pretty good. Now this one is supposed to be better.  Geez. My thoat tightens up when I even THINK about the new version. Oh – and it's on how to build high self-esteem. How ironic is THAT????? Help please. Whimper, whimper.

  2. Yes yes YES, Colette! I've been immobilized many times before and it is so tiring to live in that fearful place of not being perfect. My commitment is to bring my singing voice into my next presentation. Yikes!  But just a few bars from an old Nancy Sinatra tune should be fun for me and the audience!  "These boots are made for walkin'…" Perfect timing with your encouraging post!

  3. After attending the last speakers convention and seeing ALL that talent on stage, it's hard not to compare and think 'Wow, I gotta lot of work to do!!!'  I was especially impressed with Eric Chester's slides.  I want to have my visuals be more impactful when I speak.  I also want to have more confidence in my writing so I can contine to write.  Thanks Colette!

  4. Waiting for perfection has never been my weakness. My weakness is jumping TOO SOON without THINKING. But sometimes it does work to my advantage. And you're right, Colette, most women wait for perfect – and we all know that perfect never comes. Not in our DNA to be perfect.


  1. […] I mentioned in an earlier blog post, women have a larger anterior cingulate cortex, a part of the brain dubbed the worrywart center. […]

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