The Art of Loving Detachment

As a motivational speaker I share a LOT of the things with my audiences that I most need to work on in my life.  And here’s a big one for me that I hope you can use as well:

Practice loving detachment with the people in your life whose negative energy adversely affects you.

Sometimes that will mean physically removing yourself from the other person’s space.  Sometimes, when your option to leave is not the choice you want to make, then mentally remove yourself from the person’s negative energy.

But whether you do it physically or mentally, do it with “loving detachment.”  No animosity, no “make-wrong”, no anger.  Simply wish them the absolute best and move on.

I had to do this mentally and sometimes physically with my mother when she was alive.  As much as I wanted her love and approval and kept trying to overlook the alcoholism and the abuse, I gave myself permission to LOVINGLY separate myself from her.  I realized I could give HER love from afar and give my SELF love by leaving.  Then, when she was doing well and was in a healthy place, I could come back and never miss a beat.

I did it physically with a friend who simply insisted on talking about every horrible thing that every miserable idiot person was doing every time we got together.  For years I would change the subject and work hard to pull her up to my positive state.  After a while, I realized I was exhausted every time I left her.  Then I heard someone say, “you can’t do more for her than she is willing to do for herself.”  Wow.  I lovingly removed myself from that friendship.

It’s all about choice.  And you always have the choice to practice loving detachment whenever needed.

From your motivational speaker, Linda Larsen



Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. Thanks for the reminder Linda. Your post provoked me to consider how by tolerating and accepting people who I experience as being predominantly negative, I’m… at best probably mistakenly interpreted as accepting their behavior/opinions and at worst endorsing or subscribing to the same. Thus, not only is it hard work interacting with them… by not lovingly detaching, I’m actually hurting rather than helping them.

  2. Right on, right on, right on, Linda Lee!!!  Just today, when I had to be in the company, again,  of a very negative young man, I heard myself say, “I hope you find some happiness for yourself outside of work because I’d hate to think that you’re this negative at home.”  This sounds harsh now that I type it but I really meant it from the heart and I was looking right at him with a kind face when I said it, because he’s only 25 and I’d hate to think that his negative attitude was going to set his path.  How’d I do?

  3. Oh thank you, Linda, for your wonderful warm words of truth. They are so healing, and we all need them at some point in our lives. I’m sharing this right now, as I am sure it will bless.

  4. Linda, your audiences are blessed to have you inspire them to let go lovingly. What an incredible motivational speaker you are!


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