Take The Danged GIFT!!!

Is it just motivational speakers and trainers – or does everyone get annoyed when you have GREAT advice to give someone and they just won't take it?  Don't you have a time in your life when you just KNEW there was something that would make your friend/lover/spouse/daughter/sister/co-worker's life so much better and when you tried to tell them what it is – they refusedto hear it?  What's the matter with these people, anyway! Don't they know how smart you are???

Such was the case in my life a while back when I had "advice" for a friend of mine. He couldn't hear it. Maybe he didn't want to hear it. Maybe he wasn't ready. Who knows.  But after lamenting to my girlfriend Alice about this, she wisely and casually gave me some insight.

She asked me, if I was trying to give an actual boxed gift to someone and they didn't want it, would I grab their hand and try to FORCE the gift in it?  When they withdrew their hand again, would I continually grab their hand and continue to insist that they "Take the danged gift!!!!"

She suggested that maybe a better approach might to to simply offer the gift, with love, and if they say no, to gently set the gift down at their feet.  Leave it there. They know what it is. They can open it if they choose. You have done your part. The rest is up to them.

Soooo much easier, right?

From your motivational speaker, Linda Larsen, wrapping gifts as we speak




Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. I love this post Linda. Great way to look at it. You and I (call it the motivational speakers syndrome) are advice givers. We have all these wonderful solutions to the problems of the world, and we are super excited to share them and help make the world a peaceful place. Problem is that sometimes they didn't ask for our advice. And sometimes they don't want our opinion. (Gasp – who knew?) I usually give it anyway. But your post showed me that it's better to leave it and walk away. Great visual. This will help me a lot.

    (I also learned recently from a friend that I'm an over talker and cut off peoples' sentences. Yikes. I do. So I'm working on that too. Such a hard habit to break! The art of listening without thinking of what I want to say back is really really hard! I even interrupt myself sometimes!) 

  2. This is great Linda – love the visual of setting the gift down and when they feel like it, if they feel like it, they will open it when they want.  My mom gave me a beautiful Japanese scroll that she brought me back from a recent trip to Japan.  We have not hung it up, knowing that we may be  moving, so it stayed in it's beautiful box.  We still love it, value it, and can't wait to hang it in the perfect spot one day.  Unfortunately, when she came to visit, she didn't see it hanging up. She told me that since I didn't value it, she would like it back. Wow.  She was hurt, I was hurt.  She left, my scroll is still here, not hung up yet.  I know there is some connection with all this and your post, and maybe I'm too close to it to see it.  Needless to say, this post is much bigger than I orginally thought!!! Thanks for having me think about giving/recieving/honoring all kinds of gifts.

  3. Here's my advice …..just kidding! Love the truths that surface in these blogs too. Having two daughters I want to gift them with all my insight which can be overbearing. The good thing is I've raised them to speak their truth so they quickly let me know when I need to, "drop the gift and back away slowly."

    Marilyn, hope your mother recognized the truth of why you haven't displayed her gift to date. Better she spoke hers so you know what she was feeling rather than stuff that down and just be hurt/angry/whatever she was feeling. Did you get to speak yours?

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