As a motivational speaker, I’m on the road a lot. But when I’m home I like to treat myself to downtime with several television shows. Modern Family makes me laugh. Dancing With the Stars allows me to live vicariously as the fabulous dancer I see myself (in my mind) through the talents of others, and The View simultaneously thrills and frustrates me – while I actually learn stuff. This morning – I indulged in The View.
First of all, who doesn’t love Sherri Shepherd. She’s funny, loving, warm, spicy and fabulous. So when she mentioned this morning that a woman at her son’s soccer camp had blatantly snubbed her several times, I was intrigued. She told her co-hosts that it was very upsetting to her and asked what she should do about it. One of the co-hosts suggested that she ask the woman out for coffee, and one suggested she let it go.
Okay. She didn’t ask me. But here’s my advice.
Be straight, Sherri. Straight, respectful, kind and unflappable. Walk right up to her and say, “Carol (or whatever her name is), I’ve noticed than when I try to engage you in a conversation, you leave very quickly. Yesterday when I said hi to you, you starting waving to someone behind me and ran past me. When I turned around to see who you were waving to, there was no one there. Carol, I’m thinking I may have done something to inadvertently offend you, and if that’s the case, I would welcome the opportunity to fix it. Have I offended you in some way?”
Now – the ball is in Carol’s court. If she says yes – then Sherri has the opportunity to correct the situation. If she says n0 – then Sherri can say, “I’m sorry then. I must have misinterpreted your actions And I do look forward to getting to know you better.” (While flashing that big old fabulous Sherri Shepherd smile.)
My belief is that problems like this don’t just go away. They sit around and fester and cause people to feel frustration, anger, confusion and resentment – emotions that can very negatively impact how we communicate – AND the quality of results we get in our lives.
So step up, oh mightily offended ones! Step up, be clear, respectful, and straight. You’ll be glad you did.
From motivational speaker, Linda Larsen, declining to be snubbed