Ready… Set… No

It is a gift from one of my best friends. 

She who knows my habit of over-volunteering myself to dangerous levels.  She who knows that I have a way of talking myself into doing things even when I know that I don’t have room in my life for them.  She who knows my deep dark secret… that I am a (not so successfully) recovering people pleaser. 

It is bright red with a button in the center. 

When pushed, it says one of these things;

NO Button

  • NO!
  • Not ever!
  • Absolutely Not!
  • Nah-nah-nah-nah NO!
  • N.O. No!
  • No Way!
  • No, No, No!
  • Nnnnnnope!
  • Did you hear me?  NO!  


It is loud. It is rude.  It is obnoxious. And it just may be saving my life.

This “NO button” is externally helping me do the thing I am unable to internalize.  That sometimes the right thing to do is decline.   

So now, when I am pushed, I push my “NO button” and it reminds me to send my regrets. 

How do you harness your yes? 


Motivational Speaker Tami Evans shares her energy, passion and humor to create an unforgettable experience for audiences. Recently appearing on The Dr. Oz Show (where she taught him to chair dance) Tami lives her belief that laughter is a vital part of learning. Her entertainment-based content celebrates and motivates participants, engages and empowers employees, creates communication cohesion, boosts confidence and busts stress! To book motivational speaker Tami Evans: 646-479-6686

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  1. Tami, I have to chuckle as I use that exact "NO" button in my programs. Women get a real hoot out of banging that button as they choose to say no (to yet another thing) in order to say yes to themselves!

    Even though it doesn't appear to be the case when it comes to my desire to grow my business, I've mastered the no when it comes to my "other" world. Long ago I stopped showing up or volunteering for things that didn't make my body sing. Many pounds ago I learned that the only way I was going to have any sense of balance in my life was to have boundaries. For years I led a life of calm and clarity. If I was in doubt, I didn't do it. And then I went into the business of speaking where too often we say yes for a host of reasons — some that serve us and some that distract us.

    Bang that button! You won't regret it.

  2. Ahhhhh. Boy oh boy oh boy. Does this little blogpost of yours come at the exact right time, Ms. Tami.  And Colette – you obviously know of what I speak. Motivational speakers are NOTORIOUS for their inability to say "no" to sooooo many things.  And here I sit, in total overwhelm, in a situation of my own making – by not saying no. So, while I wish you had written this post about a month ago, I'll take your good advice right now and start saying no more frequently. Yes, that's what I'll do. 

  3. Why is it that it's only when I'm in the midst of too many balls in the air that I see with great conviction and clarity that the next task or obligation will be very easy to say NO to?  Where do you get one of those buttons??

  4. I love this NO button!  Do you sell them in your programs?  Does it really exist?  I want one!  I wrote an article awhile ago that was titled 'How to say Yes to Less to Reduce Your Stress!'.  Yes, we motivational speakers are, like Linda said, notorious for not being able to say No.  Thanks for the reminder!!!

  5. AMEN! I used to struggle with the "no" word. But now I am free of it.  I do this by keeping very focused on my priorities, and my goals, which are scripted out at the beginning of each year. Knowing where you are going keeps you from getting distracted. And when I'm asked to do something, I take a hard look at whether it will take me away from one of my major priorities – like my son. When I hold it up against that – it's easier to say no. Something ALWAYS has to give in our lives. When you focus on something, you take your focus off something else. And I've learned to say no without coming up with an excuse. How freeing to stop spending hours of anxiety trying to come up with the best excuse – and simply say, "No. I won't be able to help. But thanks for asking."  And then I don't worry whether they are mad or not. I have learned to let that anxiety go too. Life is simply too short to live it with regrets. Great post Tami!

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