If you’re still not convinced that I’ve had enough experience on stage to become a seasoned motivational speaker then here’s another list of the blunders and mishaps that have happened over the course of 30 years of teaching group fitness.
- Realizing I had bright red striping on my legs from the quick dry-shave before class
- Bouncing myself forward from doing a squat too close to the mirror behind me
- Teaching aerobics too soon after giving birth and seeing pee streaks all the way down my legs (before “dri-fit” fabric)
- Chatting with students after class and then seeing the massive lipstick smear down my chin from the microphone screen
- Ditto with mascara smear
- Bouncing the battery pack off my belt which yanked it off my head
- Teaching class with the flu, excusing myself during class to go throw up, coming back and finishing the class
- Slipping and crashing flat on my sweaty back from off the top of a stability ball
- Lunging backwards off the stage
- Leaning too far back on a Bosu and rolling into a backwards somersault
- Endless hairdo hysterics
- No spare batteries – projecting loud-voiced for an hour
- CD player not working – singing, chatting and coaching through a whole hour
- Too thin yoga pants that completely showed things during downward facing dog
- Discovering that the lump in my tights was static-clinging underpants from the last laundry – pulled them out and showed my class
- Handling the lady in the front row who was stinking drunk
- Handling the non-conformist who was doing jumping jacks while we were all doing grapevines
- Handling the bulging ceiling tile that gave way during class – forever known as our “Flash Dance” routine
- Handling a student storming out of class because I offered to correct her form
- Fashion feauxpas: thong leotard, drooping crotches, too wide headbands (I have a low forehead to begin with), white leotard (nipple city), matching neon belts and leg warmers…
- Injuries: too many to mention
I’ll stop there. I’m beginning to think I’d better stop teaching. But I know I won’t because I love what I do for a living: cooking, exercising and speaking. And for every 1 mishap there have been a thousand successes. But we all know the successes don’t make for the good stories. It’s the stories of these blunders that connect us with our audience and hopefully make for lasting inspiration to live a healthier, happier life.
From your motivational speaker who swears by waterproof mascara and black fitness wear.