Motivational Speaker’s Packing Day

motivational speaker packing day

No, this isn't my son in the suitcase. Bill won't let me put his picture in blogs. So I used the neighbor's kid.

A day in the life of a motivational speaker getting ready to hit the road – okay, maybe not typical of every motivational speaker – or any of them – what can I say? I tend to not be typical.

  • Makeup to last me a month. Check.
  • One more lipstick, just in case. Check.
  • Okay, just one more. You never know when you’ll need champagne frost. Check.
  • Pajamas. Check.
  • Comfy undies suitable for doctor’s view if I get in a wreck. Check.
  •  Seven trial bottles of hair spray. Check.
  • Spray tanner. Check.
  • Spray tanner remover. Check.
  • Toiletries. Check.
  • Hair brush for curling, one for smoothing, and one for restyling – check.
  • Curling iron, Chi, and extra hair dryer just in case. Check.
  • Thirty-Seven hair accessories and the peacock feather I swear I will wear this time. Check.
  • Black pants. Check.
  • Another pair of black pants. Check.
  • Back up black pants. Check.
  • Three black shirts. Check.
  • Six pairs of shoes – no room for tennis shoes, guess I can’t work out. Oh, shoot. Check.
  • Nutrisystem food for four days. Check.
  • Three candy bars. Check.
  • Sixty-seven necklaces with matching earrings, four rings, three sets of bracelets, a brown watch, black watch, and gold watch just in case. Check.
  • Oh, yeah, business cards. Check.
  • Weigh suitcase. Pause. twenty pounds over limit.
  • Look confused.
  • Remove one lipstick.
  • Weigh suitcase. Still too heavy.
  • Expletive.
  • Explain to 7 year old why you just used said expletive.
  • Remove another lipstick.
  • Weigh suitcase. Still too heavy. Stare longingly at shoes.
  • Remove Nutrisystem food. Check.
  • Weigh suitcase. Still over.
  • Kick suitcase.
  • Explain to 7 year old why it’s not okay to kick things.
  • Remove deodorant, figuring it’s over rated.
  • Remove business cards. Let them look you up.
  • Remove one necklace, one set of bracelets.
  • Getting closer.
  • Stare longingly at shoes.
  • Remove one pair of black pants.
  • Weigh suitcase. One pound under. Yippee!
  • Add lipstick back.
  • Walk away with no idea that you forgot to pack a bra.

 

And, yes, my friends you have it – another packing day for your wacky motivational speaker who spends more time figuring out what she’s going to wear than she does writing the speech!

See you on the road!

 

 

About

Motivational Speaker Kelly Swanson - called one of North Carolina's funniest women by Our State Magazine. Kelly lifts the spirits of audiences from coast-to-coast using humor, storytelling, and lives of the characters from Prides Hollow - Kelly's make believe small town. This unique approach to motivational speaking allows Kelly to break through communications barriers and connect directly to the audience's imagination.
Her powerful stories and wacky wit will make you laugh, remind you that you matter, show you how to see beyond your obstacles, and teach you how to stand up and stick out in a crowded market.
To book motivational speaker Kelly Swanson:
800-303-1049
Motivational speaker Kelly Swanson's website

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Comments

  1. I’m dying laughing over here. Are ALL motivational speakers alike in this regard? I think I’ll publish my list soon so you can see the slight twist on things…. This was GREAT, Kelly!

  2. I was hoping you’d post yours Linda. I figured no two motivational speakers packs the same. Let’s see!

  3. LOL! I’ve often read that motivational speakers should look the part the second they leave their house to catch a flight since they are technically on the clock. Are you kidding me? When I wake up at 3 am to shower, wash hair, condition-apply hair products, apply more hair products, dry, tease, spray, make-up the only thing I can manage to pull on his my upscale (is there such a thing?) black sweat suit so I can be at the airport at 5 am. for a 6 am flight. Speaking is fun, packing a nightmare. Fun post, Kelly.

  4. Kelly – I laughed out loud on this one! SO FUNNY! There is nothing worse than bending over your oversized suitcase at the ticket counter, taking things out so you won’t have to pay the fee for being overweight. My fear is that someone will know me and think ‘Wow, so that’s what’s in the suitcase of a motivational speaker…sure hope her thoughts are more organized than her packing!’ I also remember one time arriving at midnight to a city for a 9am keynote the next morning and to my horror forgot my pumps. The cost of the taxi to the 24 hour WAL-MART was more expensive than the shoes! I guess I should probably do like you and Linda and actually have a packing list!!!
    Thanks for the laugh today!

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  1. […] fellow motivational speakers, Kelly Swanson and Linda Larsen, posted their packing lists for when they hit the […]

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