Motivational Speaker’s Declaration: The Truth WILL Set You Free. But First…

Have you ever had people give you a specific criticism (more than a couple of times) and you’re first thought was, “Who? ME?”  You just couldn’t figure out what in the heck they were talking about.  In fact, you would have sworn that what they were saying was downright WRONG!

While it could be any of a thousand different complaints, see if any of the following sound familiar to you:

 

 

  • “You’re too judgmental.”
  • “You’re so critical.”
  • “You seem so indifferent.”
  • “What’s with this bad attitude.”
  • “You never listen.”
  • “You’re so controlling.”
  • “You don’t seem concerned about anyone but yourself.”
  • “You’re too rigid.”
  • “You have a chip on your shoulder.”
  • “Why are you so defensive?”

Can you relate?  The cute little adjective I heard so much was, “controlling.”  What? Me?  I’m not controlling!  I’m just trying to save people time and stress by telling them what they should do.  Right.

Well if any of this rings true for you, I’d like to help (not CONTROL things, you understand…)

Next time it happens, take a deep breath and calmly say the following words, “What am I doing or saying that leads you to believe that I’m  ______________?” (controlling, defensive, don’t listen, etc)

Then (and this is the REALLY important part), give the person PLENTY of room to be honest with you.  If they say, “I don’t know you just are” – don’t let that be the end of it.  Instead say, “Please help me understand. I really want to know exactly what I’m doing or saying that leads you to say that.  I can’t correct it if I don’t know exactly what it is I’m doing. I’d be grateful for your observations.”

By now I’m sure you’ve figured out:  This is EXTREMLY tough to do.  It’s graduate level stuff.  It takes a person who is willing to be shown the reality of how they are coming across to others.  One who is willing to become aware, to learn, to grow and to change – in order to live a happier, richer, more fulfilled life.  It’s NOT easy to hear someone else tell you that you are less than perfect.  But as I’m so fond of reminding people…

The truth will set you free.  But first it might very well piss you off.

From your very own personal motivational speaker, Linda Larsen

 

About

Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700
http://www.lindalarsen.com

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Comments

  1. Great stuff Linda. I don’t need to ask anyone for feedback. I have my mother.

  2. Linda, I am so aligned with this post! Awareness is the only way you’ll ever be able to grow, and it starts with honest feedback. I was raised by a pack of control-freaks and so you know where the apple fell. Yet, this motivational speaker was in denial for some time. So now I preach what I practice. When the second person I respect calls me out on the same issue (“you need to be in control” “you have a high need to be right!” etc.), it’s MY issue and I need to change. Kelly, I didn’t know we were sisters?! Yup, my Mom too.

    • Wow Colette! So now I’m wondering how many other motivational speakers have this controlling issue!!! I was at the airport the other day, watching a woman try to get her son to eat. It was all in the WORLD I could do not to go over there and say, “Here, let me show you how to do it!” God please help ALL motivational speakers keep their danged mouths shut when appropriate! Thanks for your honesty!

  3. What? Am I the only motivational speaker without control issues?? JUST KIDDING! What I have been able to accomplish is keeping my mouth shut but you should hear the screaming in my head!

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