Okay, now that we have that out of the way. My good friend and workout buddy, the AMAZING KT Curran, asked me this morning as we did our treadmill walk at the gym, "Do you have a strategy for regaining emotional equlibrium when something goes wrong?" As a mentor and someone who works a lot with kids (she's the director of the nationally acclaimed, award winning Source Theater) , she is on the constant lookout for ways to help them be more in control of their lives. And it wasn't until she asked me that question that I realized, I actually DO! It's a 2 step process.
1. I give myself "X" period of time to feel what I'm feeling. I do not ACT on these feelings. I just give myself permission to feel them. And "X" period of time is NO longer than it absolutely has to be.
2. I put this event on my Tragedy Scale. I see where it scores in relation to the real tragedies that have occured in my life – or the ones that certainly COULD happen. OR – ones that have happened to other people that I know about. Many times it doesn't even register on the "Tragedy Scale." Frequently, just puttting it on this scale can totally END my "X" period of time.
In the past when something unsettling would happen in my life my FIRST step was to find someone to blame. Second step was to feel sorry for myself. Third step was to get angry. Fourth step was to get physically sick because I was carrying around all those negative emotions. You can see what a lovely strategy THIS one was!
So this new little two step plan does take practice until it becomes an automatice habit, but once it does, you will be really happy! Because the bottom line is that YOU chose what emotional state you wanted to live in! YOU chose it! Yay you!