Larsen’s Words That Don’t Work: Too Many or Too Few

Apparently men use around 15,000 words per day.  Women, it is reported, use approximately 25,000 per day.  While I do not know the source of this statistic, I would be willing to wager it’s fairly accurate.

And here’s the important part:  No one is either right or wrong in terms of how many words they use.  The question is simply:  “In this situation, with this person, how can I communicate most effectively?”  Because, clearly, matching the OTHER person’s communication style will build more rapport and strengthen understanding.

Generally speaking (and we are definitely talking generally here), if you are talking to a man OR a bottom-line kind of person (regardless of sex), get to the point, cut to the chase, and use the words “bottom line”.  If you are talking with a woman OR a talkative, friendly, conversant sort of person, then don’t be afraid to spend a few minutes “chatting.”

I have to stress, there are men who LOVE to talk a lot and women who do not, so this is NOT about gender.  It’s about identifying the communication style of the other person.

Again, our purpose is to establish a connection that will enable the other person to feel like he or she is speaking to a “like-minded” individual.

From your motivational speaker of few words…or maybe a lot… Linda Larsen


Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. So true Linda! As a motivational speaker I get the pleasure/challenge of talking with LOTS of different people. And I have found it to be somewhat of a “dance” – trying to match them step for step – to still be me, but be the chatty me, or the “cut to the point” me. Often, when speaking with a man, I will just wait for him to initiate every stage of the conversation. I don’t offer more than he is asking until he asks for more. If he goes off on a tangent, I follow him. Just like dancing. I let him lead. And you are right – sometimes men are just like me, and then we wildly jitterbug across the dance floor until we are both gasping for breath. Thanks for the post Linda! Men and women truly are different – and we need to know this to communicate effectively.

  2. This very point was showed to me by a good friend in the foodservice industry.  She told me I should use it as an example about how men and women communicate differently.  She had two people texting her.  The first was a woman who said something like ‘When you get a chance, be sure to make a note of the program change from 2-3, let me know if that works for you.  Hope to see you there!’.  Then she showed a text from a man.  ‘FYI – Peterson died. Funeral Wed 12.’ I like how you mentioned it’s like a dance – you want to match and mirror without losing who you are in the process.  Bravo!

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