Okay, if we are talking about being successful in business and standing out and rising above the competition, then right on. Risky is the new safe. It's hard to get noticed when you play it safe and do what everyone else does. But in relationships… Ah well, that's a different story.
As a motivational speaker on building strong relationships, I often think about all the qualities that combine to make a healthy love partnership and guess what keeps rising to the top of my list. Yup. You guessed it. Safety. Not something most people would think of but vitally important if we want to have the kind of love relationship that is rich and full and meaningful and long-lasting.
So let me ask you this – Do you make your partner feel safe? I mean really, really safe. Because if you do, then she can share her heart and soul with you and know that you won't laugh at her. She can mess up and do things wrong and know that you won't criticize her. She can try new things and fail miserably and know that you will buoy her up to try again. She can tell you her deepest secrets and grandest hopes and dreams and she knows you will honor them as sacred gifts that she chose to share with you. If she feels deeply, truely, profoundly safe with you, then she is free to be vulnerable with you. And THAT might be the greatest gift YOU will ever receive.
Of course, I write these things because I need to be reminded of them. Occasionally, I THINK I'm being funny with my husband, but instead he hears a little criticism and sarcasm. And it doesn't MATTER what I intend in the moment. If he believes that I'm being insensitive or uncaring – do you think that would make him want to be more open, loving and vulnerable with me? No, it doesn't. It makes him respond the way many people do when they feel like they are being attacked in some way – he shuts down and gets quiet. In other words – his safety just got threatened and he goes into protection mode.
The bottom line is this: In business, go head and get all risky. But in relationships – at least where your partner's heart and vulnerability are concerned, play it very, very, very safe.