If You Smell Me, Tell Me

My amazing, talented, astute son, Miles, has this lively, bouncing, loveable dog named Parker who LOVES to play in the dirt and then jump all over his master.  Consequently, while Miles may not be able to smell the dog smell that has been playfully transferred from dog to human, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.  But apparently he knew he should be mindful of the possibility, because one day he commented to me, “Mom, if you ever smell me, tell me.”

I could not help but laugh!  And then I thought, “What a great metaphor!”  We all engage occasionally in behaviors that don’t serve us very well.  Behaviors that we aren’t even aware we’re doing.  And knowing that I am as guilty as anyone, I have asked a few people that I trust to “coach me.”   That is, whenever I do anything that is in opposition to my values or beliefs, to pull me aside and let me know what I’ve said or done – and the impact that it had.  Now I simply say to them, “Hey, if you smell me, tell me.”  They know exactly what I mean.

Why not ask a trusted friend to tell YOU if they smell YOU?

From your motivational speaker, Linda Larsen, playing with the doggy


Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. I love this!  My suggestion is that you ask only a very few close loved ones or friends for this stop/check because we don’t want to hear everybody’s opinion!!!

  2. Linda, this is an incredible metaphor. Love it. Ready and willing.  “If you smell me, tell ME.”

    Before I read where you were going I couldn’t help but recall the day my daughter Casey was 4 years old and doing her best to get me out of bed one morning. We were all snuggled up and I said, “Oh C’mon Casey, let’s just stay here a while longer. It’s so cozy, wozy.” The come-back kid said, “Yes, but your breath is stinky winky!” She smelled. She “telled”.

  3. I love this post, Linda. And what a gift to have friends who will tell you what you need to hear in the middle of what you want to hear. And if I might be so humble, I would like to add another piece to this.

    Who people really are is not always how I perceive them. I am constantly found guilty of judging someone in error.  And what they do to me, or around me, or in my presence, will always be judged through my personal filter of acceptable behavior. 

    Which is reason enough for pause. And that’s all I’m suggesting that we do, is pause, and ask ourselves before we seek to lovingly correct our friend, if that behavior was in fact something to be corrected, or was that just our perception? 

    It’s easy when someone smells like dog to point out that they smell like dog. It’s harder to tell them they shouldn’t talk so much at parties because it annoys people – when in reality it may only annoy us – and we should pause to consider whether this is one of those things we should just let go, as it might just be an “our perception” kind of thing.

    So I suggest that we include the pause. And then I also suggest that we include forgiveness. For as much as honest feedback is a gift, so is immediate forgiveness.

    Thanks, Linda, for bringing up a tough subject in such a great way.          

  4. Isn’t it funny that feedback (you smell – metaphorically) can be received differently depending on who is giving the feedback?  With that, let me give my girls (you guys) permission to offer me that feedback when I need it.  I trust you guys and I know that you will give feedback to me in a loving way with no ill-intent at all.  Thanks Linda for posting this and for Kelly to add valuable content too.  You guys are great!

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