How to Get UNpissed Off At Your Partner, Spouse or Lover

linda-larsen-motivational-speaker-eiffel-towerOh we all know exactly what that person can do to totally piss us off, right? My list, while it may not be long, it is VERY specific. Tell me you can totally replace the backyard fence in one day (when we are leaving on vacation three days later) and I know precisely where we are headed. When I say, "I appreciate your offer – and I firmly, adamantly and unequivocally decline. We will hire someone to do it," I EXPECT your litany of how much money we'll save and how YOU can do it better anyway, and how it's such a ridiculously easy project.  And somehow, even when I think I've gotten your agreement to let a professional do the job, you end up doing it.

And here we are, the night before leaving for a 7:00 a.m. flight. And where are you? Outside madly putting up the fence. In the backyard, building a fricking fence, where you have been for the last full 3 days and two nights – working at breakneck speed.  While I'm on the INSIDE doing my work, and yours.  I didn't have time to get MYSELF ready for the trip, and now I'm taking care of all your to-do items. Snark, grrrr, gnash, gnash…

For the first time in my life, I'm considering some honker pharmaceuticals. Of course, I don't even know what to ask for. What calms you down? Zantac? No wait, that's for heartburn. Well, I have that too so what the heck.

And then it happened. As I'm frantically searching through the files for the "Home and pet instructions for the house sitter" to print out and get ready for tomorrow, I see a file with a very intriguing title.  It says "To John Joseph Scalzi 2-14-13." I don't remember writing it so I open it up to read it.  That's when an extremely weird thing happened. It was a 3 minute read and by the end of it, I was absolutely no longer upset with my husband. None. Nada. Zip. Gone.  In fact I felt so much love and gratitude for him that I almost cried.

Here was the full title of the document:

To John Joseph Scalzi – My Amazing Weather Muffin
25 things I love and appreciate about you

I then listed 25 brilliant amazing qualities that he embodies. Here are 21 of them so you can get a feeling for why reading this paper totally shifted my emotional state:

  1. Your constant state of happiness – which makes me very happy
  2. The way you look at me like I am the most wonderful woman in the world
  3. How much you love and care for others
  4. Your laugh
  5. Your fearlessness (hello – that's exactly what he was demonstrating out in the yard!)
  6. Your passion – for EVERYTHING (even building fences)
  7. Your generosity
  8. How hard you work (there it is again)
  9. How FUN you are!
  10. How forgiving you are of my foibles
  11. How much you love our house and yard (Hellooooooo)
  12. Your exquiste talent at so many things (even fence building)
  13. That my feelings are very important to you (okay we'll skip this one…)
  14. That you let me pick out your clothes
  15. How you love all my friends as much as I do
  16. Your love our of doggies (and wouldnt want them to get out of the yard!)
  17. What an AMAZING cook you are!
  18. Your WICKED great sense of humor
  19. How much you LOVE learning new things (like how to build a fence…)
  20. Your love of theater and the arts

Forgive me for not revealing the other five items. Just use your imagination…

So there you go. Why not write a list of your own. Now, while you are in a happy, loving, appreciative mood. Then pull it out when you need it most. Like when your partner/spouse/lover accidently drives the car through the garage door.

Oh don't laugh. You've seen worse.





Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. Awwwwwwwwwww.  What a hilarious beautiful real post. Love love love it.  I was with you from the beginning, as I have a husband who starts projects on the day before we leave. And i was with at the end, running through the lists of all the things he is. Thank you. One day I will give you a list of all the things I love about YOU.

  2. You're such a wonderful writer–you had me with you the whole time laughing and FEELING your feelings. Brought back a few memories, and reminded me of the years of cards I had received from my ex. Rather than buy me a gift for all the important celebrations, I asked him to give me a card and fill the ENTIRE left side of said card with all the reasons he was happy to be with me. Even through our trials and tribulations, he wrote. When I would be most frustrated I would pull those cards from my nightstand and read…and read…and read until I realized how fortunate I was to be with such a stellar man. And yes, I did the same for him. Truly believe it's why we were able to spend 18 years together. Again, beautiful blog from such a beautiful soul.

  3. Oh dear, I was wondering if that was going on outside. You are a wise, wonderful and witty woman to think, write and share this great list. The fence looks amazing, by the way!

  4. Hold on!  I just looked at the date of this post.  With all that you had to do to leave the next morning YOU WROTE A BLOGPOST?? I have no excuses. None.

    • Well Polly – for me, when I feel something that strongly, I just HAVE to get it down on paper! So maybe the next time you feel strongly about something (which is a LOT of the time, I've noticed!) then let your FIRST course of action be, "I gotta write a blogpost about that right now!!" Works for me, anyway.


  5. I think you write for all married couples or all people in a relationship!  Yes, they drive us nuts, and yes we love them to pieces.  GREAT post – so warm and loving and totally hilarious!

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