Don’t Be Bitter, Make It Better

Womens-leadership-speaker-Colette-CarlsonEverywhere you turn this time of year, you’re being admonished to be grateful. So I’m trusting you got that message. You’re absolutely radiating gratitude. In fact, at Thanksgiving dinner, you were so grateful to have had the opportunity to buy the groceries, clean the house and cook the meal, you managed to avoid chucking the stuffing at annoying Uncle Al when he wondered why it was so dry.

It doesn’t have to be this way. As a motivational speaker who encourages people to speak their truth, I’m here to give you some tips on how you can get through the rest of the holidays with grace.

  1. Ask for support. Do your holiday family traditions involve the women cleaning the house, grocery shopping, prepping and cooking the holiday meal, then cleaning up afterward, while the other half show up to enjoy football and food? If so, it’s time to throw the penalty flag, then give the guys an opportunity to assist by asking specifically for what you need. “I’d appreciate it if you could set up the extra table and chairs before everyone arrives.” “It would be so helpful if you would vacuum and empty the dishwasher this morning.” “I’d like you to make the grocery run for the following ten items.” While you’re at it, make sure the kids have assignments too.
  1. Speak your truth –with love. Before the next holiday extravaganza, let your family know your true feelings. If you don’t want another big celebration or visiting relatives, speak up. “I know in years past we’ve always gathered here for the holidays, but I’m looking to shake things up this year so we won’t be hosting this time. I appreciate you being flexible as we try something new.” Prefer to go to a buffet or escape for a long weekend? Let them know your feelings. “If I had my druthers we would have a wonderful brunch and then go bowling or something that involves movement. I know that in year’s past you’ve wanted to watch football or play cards with your cousins. Is there a way we could compromise? If not, are you willing to help by…(see above).”
  1. It’s about connection, not perfection.  Last Thursday, did you find yourself racing around the kitchen, sweat stains growing under your armpits as you mashed the potatoes, basted the turkey, and browned the rolls? If so, you likely missed out on spending time with your loved ones, which is ultimately what the holidays are about. I know what you’re thinking, because as a recovering control freak, I’ve been there: “Everything has to be done just so, and I’m the only one who can do it right.” Let it go. Delegate. Next time, ask your sister-in-law to bring the mashed potatoes, even though hers are a little lumpy. Have your kids set the table. It’s okay if the silverware isn’t perfectly placed, polished or even from the same set. Chinet goes straight into the garbage can. This leads right into my final tip.
  1. It’s the intention, not the outcome. Your intention is to bring people together to share conversation, food and love, not have a Martha Stewart moment. (Besides from what I’ve read, there’s even some friction in Martha’s family. Hard to imagine.) Often the closer you’re related to people, the less you relate, so in that case choose to be with your friends or family of choice.

 If you embrace these principles and lose the expectations, you can’t help but have a better, rather than bitter, holiday season. And for that, we’re grateful.


Step into the Truth Booth, improve your life, and laugh along the way with funny motivational speaker Colette Carlson. How did she go from emotional coward and the Pizza Delivery’s favorite customer to #1 sales producer for sales legend Tom Hopkins and Brian Tracy, featured in Success Magazine, a 50 lb. weight loss, and inspiring audiences at Microsoft, Accenture, Pepsi, Boeing, and organizations worldwide? Visit her at or call 760-230-1212.

Colette founded Speak Your Truth, Inc. to share her success systems and inspire others to Think It! Speak It! Live It! Her tools and takeaways create authentic, long-lasting change in every aspect of your life. With a MA in human behavior, a successful business and 2 teenage daughters, Colette provides a unique combination of education, research, real-life experience, and heartfelt humor to motivate you with her high content programs. Improve your Communication Skills, Work-Life Balance, Sales, Leadership, Assertiveness, Negotiation…all wrapped in the genuine power of Speaking Your Truth.

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  1. Can I please have you send this to my family?  We have a surprise party for my Dad's 83rd in a couple of weeks – I need to tuck this into my carry on for sure!!! So wise and helpful.

  2. PERFECT! I'm going to share this with so many who will be grateful to hear it!!!!!!


  3. BRILLIANT missy!  Every single suggestion  1)is doable, 2)is easy and 3)will work!  I love it and will share this one right away.  I might even write my own blog about it relative to point 3! Thanks!!!

    • Appreciate the replys ladies. Yes, point #3 is one of my biggest lessons.  Well, in truth their all my lessons I've had to learn, re-learn, continue to learn.  It is one of my core principles that I teach in ALL my programs whether it's sales or balance because it's one I have to work on daily!! Entertaining this Friday and can you say Costco?! Big hugs to all.


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