Do You Estimate Fairly?

overestimating contribution pictureWhen you reflect on your day, do you find yourself feeling as if you’re the one carrying the load? Maybe you observe your co-worker on a personal call or your spouse on the couch and think, “Must be nice!” If so, you may be guilty of “unconscious overestimating.” That fancy phrase is simply another way of saying each of us believes we do more than others. For instance in one study, when students working on a team each estimated their contribution to the group, the total was 139 percent. Hitting a little closer to home for most of us, when spouses estimated what percentage of housework they did, it added up to 120 percent. (If those percentages were truthful, we could eat off the floor!)

While it’s tempting to make jokes about which partner does more when it comes to running the household, the truth is, when we feel we’re doing more than our fair share, it can lead to resentment. And resentment breaks down relationships, rather than create connection. If there is a serious imbalance, it’s time to speak your truth and ask for the support you need. But, if it’s a case of unconscious overestimating, try this. Rather than focus on all the drudgery and chores WE do, consider those tasks we DON’T do, those things our partner or colleague takes care of. This shift in perspective goes a long way to alleviating frustration the next time you're busy cleaning pots or pans, filling the car with gas or raking the leaves.  

Personally, I know I appreciate when my sweetheart makes the bed each morning, gets the mail, keeps the lawn green and short, does the Costco run, and stops to kiss me when he walks in the door. How about you?

About

Step into the Truth Booth, improve your life, and laugh along the way with funny motivational speaker Colette Carlson. How did she go from emotional coward and the Pizza Delivery’s favorite customer to #1 sales producer for sales legend Tom Hopkins and Brian Tracy, featured in Success Magazine, a 50 lb. weight loss, and inspiring audiences at Microsoft, Accenture, Pepsi, Boeing, and organizations worldwide? Visit her at http://www.ColetteCarlson.com or call 760-230-1212.

Colette founded Speak Your Truth, Inc. to share her success systems and inspire others to Think It! Speak It! Live It! Her tools and takeaways create authentic, long-lasting change in every aspect of your life. With a MA in human behavior, a successful business and 2 teenage daughters, Colette provides a unique combination of education, research, real-life experience, and heartfelt humor to motivate you with her high content programs. Improve your Communication Skills, Work-Life Balance, Sales, Leadership, Assertiveness, Negotiation…all wrapped in the genuine power of Speaking Your Truth.

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Comments

  1. GREAT observation, Colette!! I know that there are times (albeit a very few) when I start thinking, "Wait a minute! Does he know all the stuff I do around here?" And fortunately, in that very moment, Motivational speakers are also trainers at heart, and I'm no exception. I'll "train" anyone within a 20 mile radius – myself included.  So, I have trained myself to follow that question with another one. "Wait a minute! Do I know all the stuff HE does around here?"  That's usually enough to get me started on an inventory for him that puts him WAY up on the chart.  Somewhere I made the decision to BELIEVE (even if I'm not seeing the direct evidence in that very moment to support that belief) that he does WAY more than his share. I think (and I could be wrong, but I'd prefer not to know for sure) that he thinks that I do WAY more than my share. If we are (one or both of us) delusion – then is a system that works!

  2. So true. So true.  My husband does WAY more around the house than me. Makes me feel guilty. I try to remember that when I'm thinking I have too much to do.

  3. Can you say "In your face"?  Having just separated from my husband of 28 years, I see EXTREMEMLY clearly the balance of tasks that he did and the long list that was mine.  Just one of the reasons I'm good with my decision!  More funny motivational speaker stories to come!

  4. It's really clear who does what around our house.  I do the laundry and travel and speak and come home with Frenchie having done all the grocery shopping and the cooking and cleaning.  Yes, I am one lucky girl!

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