Difficult Conversation Tip – Get to Resolution Quicker!

Difficult conversations are called difficult for a reason.  They are uncomfortable and most people would rather not have them.  But, life requires us to put our big-girl panties on and deal with unpleasantries if we want to resolve inevitable conflicts that happen in our lives.

Recently, we had to fire our property manager for our condo.  There had been some issues that we let go for far too long and suffice it to say, we were acting as the property manager when things went wrong anyway, so what were we really paying for?  Apparently, to fire a property manager there is little thing as a contract that would require a certain early cancellation fee that we did not want to pay, but it was in the contract.  My husband and I got on a conference call with the existing property manager who was scolding us about not reading our contract from six years ago.  A heated discussion ensued with both sides starting to fling you know what about service or lack of, bids for repairs, or lack of, and the economy tanking.  I clearly was uncomfortable because 1. I don’t like conflict, 2. because all that flinging wasn’t going to get us to a resolution.  So, I realized that both parties have a point – property manager had a contract and we were unhappy about the service.  Both sides were right, but no amount of arguing those points made a bit of a difference of where we need to go.  Finally we came to the parting of ways with a mutually agreed upon solution.  How did we get there?  With a line that I used that seemed to calm everyone down and get us on the road to resolution.  I simply said; “What can we do to make this as painless as possible? What would you like for us to resolve this?”  Much to my delight, it worked.  We were able to negotiate an early release of the lease and part company.  The lesson I learned is that when two sides believe that their stance is the right one, that’s all good.  But no amount of hashing and re-hashing each side will move the situation to closure.  It also helps to acknowledge that this issue is painful for both parties, so asking what can we do to minimize the pain validates  both parties.


From your Motivational Speaker turned Property Manager, Marilyn Sherman


Marilyn Sherman, CSP is a Front-Row Leadership Expert helping people get out of the balcony and get a front-row seat in life. For over 20 years she has inspired audiences with topics on Visioning, Goal Achievement and having a No More Excuses attitude! Check out her fun, dynamic style at http://www.MarilynSherman.com

Marilyn Sherman, Owner UpFront Presentations - Helping people get a Front-Row seat in their life!
9030 W. Sahara Ave #444
Las Vegas, NV 89117

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  1. GREAT  words that really work, Marilyn. I will remember those for sure! Thanks for sharing this idea!

  2. Marilyn, you have made a beautiful point painlessly! Well chosen words lead to wonderful results. No wonder you are such a fabulous motivational speaker.

  3. Marilyn, I was tense just reading your post!  You can imagine how much I don’t enjoy conflict!  What a wonderful way to sooth ruffled feathers enough to find a resolution!  Great post!

  4. Bravo! I’m not a fan of wasted time spent flinging either. And I also hate conflict. This is a great way to get to the solution instead of wasting time talking about feelings. 

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