Conflicting Beliefs and Fears May Be Holding You Back

I was reading Randy Gage’s blog this morning (post link is below) and I just had to share it and share my thoughts. He speaks about your conscious beliefs contradicting your subconscious beliefs. And in the supporting video he speaks about fear. It really hit a cord with me because I have struggled with both. And I think many of you have too.

If you say you want to write a book and get it published – that’s your conscious belief. But what if you grew up being told you were stupid, that writing is stupid, that you’ll never amount to anything? Well that becomes part of your subconscious belief, that starts to fight with the conscious belief. And guess who wins? -The subconscious. What in your subconscious belief system is holding you back?

And then Randy talks about fear. I spoke about this just yesterday in my blog – asking what you are afraid of that keeps you from acting. And Randy said to do the EXACT SAME THING (wow, my mind is still spinning) that I always do – and actually did yesterday. To think out the worst that could happen – see that it won’t actually be so bad – see that the risk is worth it – and do it. Just yesterday I was talking to Josh Nobles – my other half in the Prides Hollow show – about an event we have decided to host ourselves. It brings a whole bunch of scary to it. Things I’m not used to doing. And that good old fear crept in again. So I walked Josh through the worst thing that could happen – we host the event, we put a lot of time and energy into, we spend a couple thousand, and nobody, or even worse, one person shows up.  Turns out, Josh and I are willing to take that risk. But deep down we don’t believe that will happen – and if we get the BEST case scenario. Well, shoot, it’s worth it. And even going through that process allowed us to take a look at some things we could control to keep the worst scenario from being so bad.

As a motivational speaker, these are the truths I have been sharing with my audience. So nice to have affirmation from someone who knows better than me. I was so afraid I would be wrong. And for so long I have said that I wanted (consciously)  to be of value to my audience, but my subconscious belief  (for many reasons) told me I wasn’t. I had to unlearn the old beliefs and relearn new ones. It’s been tough. And it hasn’t happened in one step, but in many consistent repeated steps. And I’m not there yet. But I’m getting closer.

I hope you are too. Because life is so much richer outside the comfort zone.

Here’s Randy’a blog – enjoy!


Motivational Speaker Kelly Swanson - called one of North Carolina's funniest women by Our State Magazine. Kelly lifts the spirits of audiences from coast-to-coast using humor, storytelling, and lives of the characters from Prides Hollow - Kelly's make believe small town. This unique approach to motivational speaking allows Kelly to break through communications barriers and connect directly to the audience's imagination.
Her powerful stories and wacky wit will make you laugh, remind you that you matter, show you how to see beyond your obstacles, and teach you how to stand up and stick out in a crowded market.
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  1. This brings to mind a couple of old Dale Carnegie principals – Look at the worst that can happen and 95% of the thing you fear might happen will never come to fruition.

  2. Oh wow, yes, GREAT subject matter worth looking into. In my early days as a motivational speaker I stumbled across a book by Susan Jeffers, entitled, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. She said that many of us wait until the fear goes away before we take action. When in fact – it is the DOING OF THE THING – that can make the fear go away. And she suggests a technique that I use to this day: When I’m walking out all the possible worst-case scenarios, that I counter all of them with, “Yes, and if that happens, I’ll handle it.” But what if…”I’ll handle it.” Yes, but what if…”I’ll handle it.” That has given me a tool to use when that fear crops up.

  3. I’ve lived through many examples of my subconscious holding me back from what my conscious mind wants to do. Even with plenty of success stories of “doing it anyway” under my belt, I STILL have to go through the same battle with that subconscious. The good news is that the battles don’t last as long anymore because that aforementioned 95% success rate. Not there yet either, Kelly, but working my way! Loving your support!

  4. Kelly I just love your honesty and transparency. You really speak what I need to hear! I, like Linda, am reminded of my early years as a motivational speaker asking my audiences “What ‘s the best that could happen, what’s the worst that could happen and what’s the likelihood that either of those will happen?” Thanks for reminding me to work through the fear. And also, thank for posting Randy Gage’s blog – his article and video were great.

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