Motivational Speaker Commits Meatball Murder

I’m a pacifist by nature. I am. I once held a .357 Magnum  in my hand and had the opportunity to shoot an escaped convict who was holding me hostage. Had my finger on the trigger and I couldn’t do it. He was clearly a HUGE danger to me but I decided in that moment that I couldn’t actually KILL a human being.  So when I say “pacifist” I ain’t just talkin’ turkey.

I’m talking meatballs.

Last night my husband and I teamed up for a joint cooking project: Four gallons of homemade spaghetti sauce.  We bought tons of organic tomatoes, chopped boatloads of garlic, peppers, onions & fresh basil and made a mountain of meatballs from organic grass-fed beef. We invested hours of time and thousands of dollars (well, okay, maybe $75).  We worked right up until he had to go to bed (morning meteorologists go to bed earlier than most 4 year olds.)

I simmered the sauce for several hours and the garlicy, spicy, tomato-y aroma was FABULOUS!  I turned it off and thought I would let it cool down –  at which point I could divide it up into containers and put it away.  And then I went to bed.

You heard me right. I went to bed. Forgot ALL about the sauce and went to dreamland. Next thing I know it’s 7 a.m. and the phone is ringing.  It’s John saying, “Honey, I have GREAT news!  Your email is back up and running!”

My foggy brain is thinking – yes, that’s nice, but why the 7 a.m. notification?

Then he says, “And I really, really, REALLY hate to tell you this, but our sauce sort of bit the dust.”

The MOMENT he says this, I realize what I did.  NOW, I’m awake, by golly.

He goes on to say, “But look at the positive side – we actually SAVED money because we didn’t put in that extra sausage we talked about!”

What?  I commit Meatball Murder (thank you to my funny friend Christine Cashen for coming up with THAT one!) and he’s finding the funny in the situation? It would be really justifiable for him to feel very annoyed, but he CHOOSES to find the funny.  Wow. We could learn a lot from a Weather Muffin.

Here’s a challenge: TODAY find one situation where you CHOOSE to see the funny side when everyone else is moaning and complaining.  Make it your MISSION to make someone laugh about it.

Room temperature sauce, anyone?

From Linda Larsen, Your Meatball Murdering Motivational Speaker,

Helping people bring their finest, best & happiest self to life! 





Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. Linda, so enjoy your humor! Days before another gal totaled out my daughter’s car, we had it cleaned, smogged, spent around $600 at the repair shop, received the new registration sticker….you get it. Since it was an older car and knew we would barely recoup the past few days investment even when it was “totaled” by the insurance company, you have to find the good. Aside from the wonderful fact my daughter walked away with only neck pain, we joked the next few days how “the tow yard had never seen such a clean car.” She piped in, “Good thing I was on my way to GET gas!” Perhaps she’ll grow up to be a motivational speaker with that attitude!

    • EXCELLENT example, Colette! And I do believe that kids model the behaviors and attitudes they observe in their parents. So how GREAT that you are giving your daughters this kind of a positive example! Do you know how many parents would have FLIPPED out about all this! Yay you! I think motivational speakers (who walk their talk like you obviously do) should be hired to teach parenting classes!

  2. Now Linda, I know you are all worried about the fact that you are a mass meatball murderer. But I must let you know that I have it on good authority that most meatballs in Florida belong to the prime cut religion (started by the infamous Chuck Ground ) that believes in an after life – and “word on the street” is that every good devout meatball dreams of dying a valiant death, hearing their master say “well done”, and landing in an eden of spaghetti sauce. Apparently meatballs consider that to be worth dying for. So you didn’t really murder a meatball – but allowed him to die with pride and a Grade A status, and therefore enter a new layer of paradise with seven virgins – all named Patty.

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