A LIVE Representative Will Be With Me Soon?

voicemail-hell-chalk-boardOh no they didn't just say that. A "live" representative will be with me soon?

As I type this, I have been on hold for 20 minutes. I'm trying to get information in order to return a product I purchased online. I am currently navigating my way through a bazillion options, interrupted periodically by some really hideous elevator music that is making my left eye twitch.  And just now I got a recorded message that said, "Please remain on the line. A live representative will be with you soon."

Oh darn. I was SO hoping for a dead one.

Are you kidding me? They could have said, "Please hold on the line. Another recorded representative will be with you soon." At least that would have been more accurate. One of the messages even said, "We value your business and will be with you as soon as possible."  Uh. No. They don't value my business. And it doesn't seem they even value THEIR business or they wouldn't have such a sucky system. Or maybe they think they are providing me an entertaining backdrop while I write a blogpost about them. Hey. I had to do SOMETHING to feel productive while I am strapped to my desk by this phone.

So what is the moral of this story? Maybe there are several:

1. Don't put people on hold for this long. Don't do it. They will want to rip your toenails off.

2. Don't refer to "live" representatives. It makes you sound ridiculous.

3. If you are on the receiving end of this kind of voicemail hell and find yourself stuck on the phone on hold for longer than 3 minutes, utilize the time productively. If you have a blog, write about it and call the company out by name (The Perfecter.) 

Okay, it's the 49th time I've heard how much they value my business. I've been on hold now for 38 minutes. So I'm going to file my nails, or straighten my desk, or rearrange my pencil drawer. 




Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700

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  1. I feel your pain, Linda. It's usually when a company says they value your business, that they really don't.  I know you are suffering, but I laughed out loud when I read the words "No, I wanted a dead one."  Too funny. Thanks for sharing your angst. While aggravating, it sure makes for a delightful post!

  2. So agree. Your writing about your pain made me laugh, too. It was the toenails line. Fake customer service stinks, and my heart goes out to the "live" body that eventually will answer the phone for those customers who have rearranged their furniture while waiting.

  3. Do they expect us to jump up and down with gleeful anticipation that a "live" representative will be with us soon??  What about on the second ring like the good old days?? Sigh

  4. No, I do want a dead one!!!  NOT!  So funny.  So, did you follow Weather Muffin's plan for handling a bad customer service experience?  Aren't you tempted to send them a copy of your blog? Seriously, I hope they resolved your problem to your satisfaction – or actually blew you away with positive response.  I highly doubt it though.  Keep using the time to write great blogs though!

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