As I type this, I have been on hold for 20 minutes. I'm trying to get information in order to return a product I purchased online. I am currently navigating my way through a bazillion options, interrupted periodically by some really hideous elevator music that is making my left eye twitch. And just now I got a recorded message that said, "Please remain on the line. A live representative will be with you soon."
Oh darn. I was SO hoping for a dead one.
Are you kidding me? They could have said, "Please hold on the line. Another recorded representative will be with you soon." At least that would have been more accurate. One of the messages even said, "We value your business and will be with you as soon as possible." Uh. No. They don't value my business. And it doesn't seem they even value THEIR business or they wouldn't have such a sucky system. Or maybe they think they are providing me an entertaining backdrop while I write a blogpost about them. Hey. I had to do SOMETHING to feel productive while I am strapped to my desk by this phone.
So what is the moral of this story? Maybe there are several:
1. Don't put people on hold for this long. Don't do it. They will want to rip your toenails off.
2. Don't refer to "live" representatives. It makes you sound ridiculous.
3. If you are on the receiving end of this kind of voicemail hell and find yourself stuck on the phone on hold for longer than 3 minutes, utilize the time productively. If you have a blog, write about it and call the company out by name (The Perfecter.)
Okay, it's the 49th time I've heard how much they value my business. I've been on hold now for 38 minutes. So I'm going to file my nails, or straighten my desk, or rearrange my pencil drawer.