A Brilliant Way to Reconnect

What do you do when someone “accuses” you of some ulterior motive that you absolutely didn’t have?  Consider this:

I said something to John (the Weather Muffin).  I had NO ill intentions, or negative thought process or feelings whatsoever.  He later told me that what I said hurt his feelings.

And what was my NORMAL knee jerk reaction to what he said?  Why, to explain how he took it the wrong way, of course.  How I absolutely did NOT mean what he thought I meant by what I said.  Basically, I explained to him how he was wrong in his interpretation.  I thought I was making him feel better by assuring him that he simply misinterpreted by actions.  My words were having the exact opposite effect.

He just kept saying, “Oh I know you didn’t mean it that way, that’s just how it sounded to me.”

Trust me when I say, we were going nowhere fast, nothing was feeling resolved and no one seemed particularly happy.

And then (thank you, God) I was struck by some sort of lightning mid-stream.  It happened when I asked myself to try and see things from John’s perspective.  And when I did, my immediate response was:

“John, I can certainly understand why you might have thought that.  If I’d been in your place, I might have thought the same thing.  I can understand why my words upset you.  I am so sorry.”

The look that came over his face was amazing.  He softened instantly.  He said “thank you.  I just wanted you to understand how I felt.”

“Understanding”, as I’m learning, does NOT go, “I understand.  And you’re wrong.”

I’m making progress, I guess.  I’ve now graduated from Pre-K to first grade.

From Linda Larsen, a motivational speaker determined to get it right – or at least righter.

About

Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen, CSP has been described by meeting planners and audiences as "hysterically funny," and "riveting." Known for her ability to connect on an authentic and emotional level with audiences, her spontaneous sense of humor, and her engaging and powerful stories, Linda is passionate about sharing ideas to help people live their finest, best, and most productive lives. Her riveting and true story of being kidnapped and held hostage at gunpoint by an escaped convict, and the strategies she used to escape, will give people the tools THEY need to rise above any of life's toughest challenges, to communicate more effectively with THEIR difficult person, and to find creative solutions to THEIR problems. To book motivational speaker, Linda Larsen: 941-927-4700
http://www.lindalarsen.com

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Comments

  1. This is a great lesson Linda – what a gift it was for you to stop and see things from John’s point of view.  It just re-affirms to me that people need to be heard and be validated.  Good job!

  2. This motivational speaker has been “schooled” by a first grader!  Great insight, Linda.  Thank you for always making me take a look from someone else’s perspective.

  3. Linda, you are so incredible at sharing truths! Sometimes I feel like I’m still in Pre-K when I want to be heard, instead of recognizing that I need to simply hear another to heal the situation.

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