I'd never let someone else raise my child!
That helicopter mother needs to get a life!
Guess who didn’t show up again for her child’s activities?
Don’t they ever schedule anything in the evening so working parents can attend?
As a professional keynote speaker who is blessed to speak at women’s conferences across the country, I often hear the above comments from attendees. I’ve also heard similar comments at the playground, school events, dinner parties and networking events over the years.
Since today is International Women’s Day, I want to add my own opinion: Stop the Judgment! Speak YOUR truth, and let others speak their truth. Speak YOUR truth by living in alignment with YOUR goals and values. To me, there is a big difference between speaking your truth and speaking your mind. Speaking your mind often comes with judgment about what others should do, rather than simply living YOUR truth.
News flash: Whether or not you work inside or outside of the home, you don’t love your children any less! Some people have more options than others, and why is YOUR truth the one everyone else should follow? Isn’t the goal that women have choices to do what works best for them and their families?
For example, yesterday I sat in on a “working mother” panel discussion while waiting to deliver the keynote luncheon presentation. Many who stood up to share spent their time validating their choice whether that was to stay home when the children were young, work when they were young and stay home during the teenage years, develop their careers before having children so they had attained enough seniority to have flexibility, or work part time. And my heart ached inside because I knew there were single mothers in the room that didn’t have as many options. As women, the last thing we need to do is to add more guilt to anyone who is doing their best to survive and thrive.
Women throughout the world are the givers, the nurturers and the caretakers for the generations to come. Research also shows when women are in the C-suite, serving on the executive team and sitting in the board room, companies are more ethical and deliver higher profits. We need women to stop competing and start connecting so we can heal this world. It starts with compassion and acceptance of others. It starts with compassion and acceptance of self. Speak YOUR truth and allow others to do the same.
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Amen sister! I'm so busy trying undo the damage I keep doing to my kid, that I don't have time to look around and judge the other mothers. If I start comparing, I will always come up short. Life is stressful enough without feeling like I have to keep up! Mothers can be very sensitive. I can just tell a woman I homeschool, and sometimes she will react defensively – as if she's trying to defend her choice. I try to make it very clear that this is my way – my choice – what's right for me and my family. There is no one right way. Great post Colette!
Sing it girlfriend! We are ALL just doing the best we can, aren't we? I don't KNOW why she made the choices she made. I barely know why I did what I did! I mean it seemed like the right choice at the time – but geez. You are so right. Let's give each other a break.
Freedom is what I call it. When you allow others to speak their truth without judging it then there's a sense of freedom I get from not having to prove myself right, prove them wrong, disagreeing with their choice, defending my choice, etc. Ahhhh, just let it be and do your own thing. Happy International Women's Day!